Fred hearts Huckabee, E.T. phones Texas, more commercial airline blues, N.J. highway robbery

Fred hearts Huckabee, E.T. phones Texas, more commercial airline blues, N.J. highway robbery

Mike Huckabee high on fiber.

The down and dirty 2008 presidential campaign now concerns Fred Thompson’s colon, as Mike Huckabee pleads with the nation on MSNBC’s Morning Joe to “give Fred Thompson some Metamucil!” ABC News reports: “Thompson, who had launched an aggressive attack against Huckabee’s record during Thursday night’s GOP debate in Myrtle Beach, S.C., responded by insinuating that Huckabee is in truth nastier than his sunny demeanor, is unprepared for the presidency, and is making personal attacks while Thompson is “talking about issues concerning this country.” Several Youtube video dance remixes are already in the works.

Fourteen percent of Americans, including Steve Allen, have seen a U.F.O.

According to an Associated Press poll, you are no longer special and/or crazy if you’ve seen aliens … at least in Stephenville, Texas. Dozens of the town’s citizens have recently reported seeing flat, metallic objects and strangely lit objects in the sky. “People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it’s the end of times,” said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. “It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts.” Federal officials say there’s a logical explanation, and that the object may have been an illusion caused by two commercial airplanes. About 200 U.F.O. sightings are reported each month, mostly in California, Colorado and Texas – a Whitman’s Sampler of America.

Commercial jet fender-bender at San Francisco airport. D’oh!

A United Airlines 757 backed into a SkyWest commuter jet while both planes were backing away from their gates. None of the 56 passengers on the SkyWest jet were hurt. There were no passengers in the 757, as it was being taken out of service. This is apparently a common problem for the airport. According to the ABC news report, “An F.A.A. report released last October says that San Francisco International is one of the top 20 most dangerous airports in the nation when it comes to near collisions. Also on that list is San Jose Mineta International Airport. Between the two airports there were eight near collisions last year. Near collisions is one thing. The airport at SFO points out that in the past 17 years, there have now been two ground collisions.”

Gov. Corzine plans on raising N.J. highway tolls. Private companies plan on saving the day/profiting from economic suffering.

Gov. Corzine is embarking on a statewide tour to convince New Jerseyans that raising highway tolls is the only way to save the state from financial ruin. His plan includes relinquishing control of the highways to a new nonprofit corporate investor. The Bat Signal is scheduled to continue shining atop Trenton’s Tammany Hall. The New York Times reports: “What we want to be sure people focus on is that we need to have a real open and honest discussion about how we’re going to address the state’s fiscal problems,” said Bradley I. Abelow, the governor’s chief of staff and the former state treasurer. “I don’t think it’s a matter of convincing, I think it’s a matter of our continuing to talk about this.” Gov. Corzine will be hitting the road immediately in order to beat his own toll hike.

Mary J. Blige, 50 Cent, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean to have asterisks etched in their gold records.

The entertainment industry has jumped on the steroid craze. According to an investigation led by the Albany County district attorney’s office in New York, a roster of steroid abusing artists include author Tyler Perry, rappers 50 Cent and Wyclef Jean among others. Access Atlanta reports: “Citing information from witnesses cooperating in the investigation, The Times Union said that drugs were shipped to celebrities, sometimes under pseudonyms, at their homes, studios and hotels and through the Clay Fitness Club and Spa on West 14th Street in Manhattan and the director of its anti-aging and longevity program, Dr. Michael Diamond, a chiropractor from Long Island. He declined to comment because of patient confidentiality, the newspaper said.” News of steroids must come as a shock to the public, who until now believed that steroids were the one drug not being abused by Grammy recipients.

Tags: highwaysatlanta

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