According to Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin, who took center stage at the Republican National Convention last night, environmentalists from San Francisco are unpatriotic, uncaring and un-American fascists bent on “turning back the waters and saving the planet” when compared to the truth-loving, chosen people of America’s “small town.” I grew up in a small town and now I live in a city. I’ve been spending the last few hours trying to chronicle my descent into evil.

Former governor Mitt Romney said that the liberal-minded shouldn’t even be in Washington and that conservatives should dominate the entire spectrum of politics.

Former governor Mike Huckabee said that having an African-American presidential candidate is merely “symbolic” and nothing else.

Here’s a news flash for the GOP: By the year 2045, whites will no longer be the majority population in the U.S. and 51.3 percent of the world’s citizens will live in urban areas by 2010. They’re not preaching to the choir anymore, as the Huffington Post inaccurately described – they’re insulting them.

Last night’s RNC speeches were vile, disgusting, insulting and hurtful. I didn’t hear a single suggestion on how McCain plans on taking our ailing economy in a different direction. What I did hear was how I, as a person who tends to be attracted to a more liberal form of politics, should be ashamed of myself. I should hang my head for even questioning the last eight years or having the audacity to believe that gays, lesbians, minorities and women should have equal rights. I should stop living in a city, trade in my bicycle for a Ford Escape and move to Wasilla.

Tell me, Gov. Palin, why am I such a bad person for not believing in your faith? Why are all non-white-christians so wrong? Why don’t I fall for the rallies? Why do I read the “issues” page on your candidates websites? Why did I go to college? Why did my parents, who scrimped and saved to make sure I was better off waste their time working so hard to make sure I was educated? Why didn’t they tell me to resolve my differences with violence and hate speeches?

Tell me Mitt Romney, where should I move to? Since you think I shouldn’t be in Washington, can I move in with you? Maybe we can have a sleepover and you can show me how to be a real American. Can you do me a favor – since you’re asking me to move away from where I work – can you pay my student loans for a few years while I get my red, white and blue back on track?

Tell me Mike Huckabee, what kind of “symbol” are black people? Tell me Rudy Giuliani, how did 9/11 go again? I only lived a few hundred yards from it at the time it happened… When did I get cut from Team America? When did I enjoy riding on a cramped bus trying to get the hell out of there, fearing that another jet was on its way? When did I become such a bad person?

I thought McCain was about reaching across the aisle. Last night, he lobbed a grenade over it. I’m not going anywhere and neither is San Francisco or the other so-called Orangina-sipping cities you painted as “elitist” last night. Start dealing with the issues that will affect a majority of citizens in two years.

Cheat sheet for the GOP. Deal with:
A.) Bridging the divide between cities, suburbs and rural areas instead of defining the war between their cultures.
B.) Investing in clean air technology for large urban centers where millions of people are migrating for employment.
C.) Affordable housing for people who aren’t necessarily white and affluent.
D.) A government that represents the diverse religious, social and economic beliefs of its people.
E.) Changing our economy so that cities and rural areas mutually benefit from trade and new markets and that basic needs like food, water, heat, education and health care are adequately supplied to all.
F.) Reform education so that people have the ability, like me, to fact check your bullshit speeches and separate substance from saliva.

Not one of these issues has been mastered by either candidate. And while neither John McCain nor Barack Obama have taken a real step forward beyond the rhetoric, the GOP took 50 steps backwards – insulting intelligence and pouring salt on the wounds of America.

Disagreements aside, rural Americans and urban Americans are all Americans and we all want the better for our country. These speeches are unhealthy to absorb and I’m worried about children who look at these people as examples. I hope that none of them dreamed of politics last night.